#up until hes rly old
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yumeurl · 3 months ago
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hp take
If Tom ever had a partner who he loved and they were pregnant he’d probably be terrified that they would die in childbirth like his mother because even magical people are not immune from dying that way
hmm there's alot of what ifs here that it's hard to gauge a definite answer... i'd say disagree for now
like how does he even have a partner and fall in love with them? would he have the development to care for them in times of peril and not just himself? what time are we in in tom's life for this to happen? i just don't think he cares about others that much to be terrified
now if He's the one pregnant-
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oysterie · 1 year ago
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i do acknowledge i need to watch what i say wrt gender women men cis ppl etc just augh.
#its like. im a trans man 100% i want nothing to do w being seen as a women i acknowledge that. i also acknowledge that I am putting#literally zero effort in my irl life to present as a guy at all. partially lack of resources and embarrassment etc stuff like that partiall#the autism i literally look in a mirror and see a guy#and i go to class go to work and until soemone explicitally refers to me as a woman i think of myself as a guy. so like its this weird#disconnect of what i actually do vs what i percieve as expieriencing in my daily life where i am objectively living#as a cis woman who just dresses and acts a bit masc. lol.#and like that doesnt bother me atm until i get to a setting where i am gendered frequently. then i feel nauseas etc but whatever ill deal#so i always hesitate whenever i talk abt women feminism men makeup beauty expectations etc (also i am mixed thai and white which#def plays into everyhting ofc ofc) as i dont know rly what is like. not fine idc if i say smthn uncouth just i dont want to at all#seem like im doing what these other trans guys do and latch onto my femininity and 'girlhood growing up' etc or like#its all dumb to me ofc im a feminist i consider anything i speak abt feminism free the nipple being against gender essiantialism etc etc#as in feminism (not that women arent/cant be femnists just in terms of im not trying to sound like a woman) and#ofc growing up as and my current life experiences have obvi had a large impact on myself how i veiw the world my political beliefs and all.#but like. im always scared it sounds like im idr the phrase someone else used but a i dont want to seem like im latching onto girlhood as#a failsafe or whatever. its just mm ykwim its a weird feeling. cause like im a 21 year old man and read my posts as such el oh el.#idk its all weird and idk if its a specific to me thing or whattttt it just like. i feel silly sometimes and i dont want my points to be#misconstrued :) anyways me posting this after rewatching and posting abt pearl has nothign to do genuinly lmfao just timing its been#on my mind after that dumbass trans guy posting abt the lonelyness he feels abt abandoning womanhood#after watching barbie. lol and then i saw someone in the comments of some ig quote it w like 30 replies all positive like get a lifeee#i understand it can feel isolating being trans and everyones relationship back to womanhood is diff and complecated but by god. shut up#anywayyyyyssss mmm okay im done whateverr#maybe all a fear in my head and literally none of this has every crossed anyones mind however it bothers me :(
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rinhaler · 1 year ago
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I’m soooo excited to finish writing toxic!megumi btw 🤤
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phagodyke · 2 years ago
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actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then
#i think its bc a) when i came out at like 15 everyone was super surprised so i assumed ppl still found it unexpected even now#+ b) im not super aware of social cues generally (autism) so dont tend to pick up on stuff like that unless its explicitly said#+ also c) ive never felt like i physically appear very conspicuous bc i dont have any piercings/tattoos/never dyed my hair etc#i only cut my hair short relatively recently too..... so idk i just assumed i blended into the background for everyone#but now im interacting with ppl outside of my tighter social circle more often ive become more aware-#of how ppl might perceive me. or rather ive become aware of just how UNaware i am of how ppl might perceive me#and its really funny how many odd interactions ive had in the past suddenly make sense if u assume the other person clocked me as gay#like strangers that have gotten flustered around me that might be bc i was giving off strong dyke vibes etc#the other day i was in a bookstore and the guy behind the counter was very stiff + quiet until i replied to smth he said and suddenly he-#became way more animated + started talking to me more casually + that was the first time i realised i probably sound gay as fuck#like i think i kinda have a stereotypical gay mannerism/lilt to the way i talk... no wonder i used to get called a fag so often lmfao#or like i remember trying to find a lab partner in 3rd yr of my degree + i had to do it on call only bc of covid + there were a bunch-#of us with similar lab interests but it got sorted SO fast bc this one other student seemed to gravitate immediately towards me#and i remember thinking afterward that it was odd how quickly we resolved that. esp bc we didnt even meet it was just voice call#anyway yeah i found out she was a dyke much later but i think maybe she clocked me straight away bc of how i sound....?#and that was why she warmed to me so quickly... but god i remember debating for ages with my ex abt whether she was gay or not#like my gaydar is truly terrible i suck balls at picking up on cues so its funny that to some people im reeking signals#also i met up with an ollldddd old friend last week + 30 secs in she was like oh fuck you must use different pronouns now#gesturing to Me. like oh..... im visibly gnc......? or maybe behaviourally???? idk. also shes v femme which made me realise that-#i rly do come across kinda masc/butch nowadays. even tho ive never really thought abt it that deeply before or made an effort to#i mean yeah i do identify along those lines but ive never directly considered how to flag that to other people etc im just doing me baby#ANYWAY this has been a rly long ramble idr what point i was getting at but just find it fascinating to think abt how im read in public#bc im just genuinely so unaware of it. its weirdly rly validating to find out that im automatically recognised as dykey + a little masc#boosted my confidence a lot as well tbh ive felt rly comfortable in myself lately. partly also cuz im getting a little muscular ;^)#ANYWAYYYYYY enough of all that i need to go sleep if youre reading this ily goodnighttt xoxo#.diaries
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nomaishuttle · 2 years ago
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freaking out again . kills myself
#my mom said she could cover half my ticket but she said that when the ticket was 400 and then i found one for like 200 but i dont have#enough to get that even not even half of it but i think shell still only pay half which is fair#but also she wont have money until the end of the month but im supposed to leave on the sixth#so i need to get the tickets like right now before the prices go up but i cant bc i Dont have the money#but i rly rly rly need to get this figured out#bc im not just visiting for fun. i also have to get my root canal finished#bc the fake tooths literally chipping off i neeeddd it finished and my old insurance is covering it so i need. i just need it#but i dont know how to bring it up again like. and i dont. ayfhfjrbffngkgngj#i need to get my license updated as well like badly so that i have an id for the uhm. flighg#i have a rpettyy good amt of time to do it but i cant drive myself soi rly rly rly need to vet that#UGHH. im just rly fucking scared#i cant sleep im like..worrying so bad but i cant do anyrhing right now#and my dad gave me a hundred bc my acct was in rhe negative bc of the fucking. late payment things which i dont even know how they happened#bc i had enough money for the things i ws buying but its. whatever idk#im just rly rly rly fucking worried again#im judt like. im rly rly rly freaking out#and the job is like. he said hedgetvack tome by the end of the week but today issaturday and i didnt hear anything#but even if i get it it pays on the 20th and 5th of everry month#so i wouldnt get enouguh money in time to get a ticket i dont think#even if i started working like. day after tmrw thatd be what. 3 days pay b4 the paycheck and idek when the pay epriod is ykwim#im just..rly rly rly scared basically#idk what to do at all and its. once this trip is over itll literally be fine i just need this trip to be over and finished and then i cn#figure out job#but i rly rly tly need the reply#bc i havent been likee. applying for new jobs jic i get this one Which was fuckin stupid#im just like.UGH!! im rly rly freaked out is all
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chisatowo · 2 years ago
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Alrighty got my concepts for my new dnd character now just to actually figure out how the fuck hexblade warlocks work </3
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arolesbianism · 4 months ago
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I should rly start eternal gales posting again I need to make sure the ppl who follow me know how much Tali and Aris make me to insane so that the isat au can have its full effect but alas I am allergic to drawing the human eg cast like 99% of the time and rn the only thing stopping that from being 100% is that I like fucking around with different art styles sometimes
#rat rambles#oc posting#eternal gales#honestly most of the times that Ive drawn them in recent memory has been either because I needed to remake their refs or because I wanted#to change smth abt my human artstyle and needed to use them as my test dummies since making dure Im still calable of drawing them is vital#shout out to them for forcing me to start learning how to draw humans so I could neglect to give them basic features for years until#something or another forced me to give them another facial feature#but nowadays they have successfully earned noses eyebrows ears eyebrows again noses again and also fingernails ig#maybe I should try to redraw some old eg art at some point that might be easier#but yeah aris and tali are the favorite children most of the time I love putting them through the horrors#longggg story short aris's mom was abusive towards both of their dad and that lead to him rebounding onto tali's mom and then tali's mom#died during childbirth and tali has a bunch of health issues which lead to him becoming even more depressed and stressed and that's on top#of his ex stalking him and harrasing him while abusing aris whenever she had custody and while eventually she lost custody she still kept#threatening their dad until he died when the two were lil kids and the two moved with their shared grandparents who took the death of their#son rly poorly and it sparked a bunch of conflict between them leading to them divorcing and aris chose to stay with her grandpa while tali#left with her grandma and the two didnt interact for years until they ended up in the same online friendgroup and had an awkward reunion#the two have a complicated relationship for many reasons but one of the roots of their disconnect is that aris' mom Hated tali and heavily#demonized her and tried very hard to drill it into tiny aris' head that both tali and her dad were people she was supposed to hate#and while aris never hated either of them she did feel the pressure like she was supposed to even after her mother was gone#and she felt even more that way after tali left leading to her feeling very uncomfortable upon her popping up again#tali on the other hand never had this but did have some resentment towards her for not coming with her as she tends to see aris as the last#remnant of the happy family she feels she was supposed to have but lost#and after her grandma died and she was left to go through some horrific shit alone that comfort that the idea of aris brought began to#override any anger she may have felt towards aris and she clung onto aris rly hard after the two reunited even if for the first few years#aris was deliberately distant most of the time#aris ends up being struck Hard by guilt once the two actually meet in person again during the main plot due to a variety of reasons#but the big initial one is that first moment she has where she goes wait. did she always have prostetic legs. uh oh.#tali getting to play that fun game where she lives in enough of a high tech environment to have fairly fancy prosthetic limbs but not w#enough for them to feel like more than a hinderence most of the time#theyre heavy and clunky and it sucks to try to clean them because she has to keep one arm on at all times and this has lead to infections
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2-braincells · 8 months ago
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dear diary today my principals dad harassed me abt my skirt length and some random 12 yr old boys cat called me. men of all ages are strange.
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networkcables · 1 year ago
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(Sorry if this is invasive, no pressure to answer) You've talked about replacing Adam's keycaps and I'm wondering how much of him could you replace before it's not actually him?
(not invasive, dw!) this is something i've actually been questioning myself recently, there are things that i'd never dream of changing (i'd never upgrade him to windows 10 for instance, booting him up and seeing anything other than windows 7 would just feel wrong, id also never swap his HDD for an SSD since i feel like the noises he makes are a part of him) but then there's major things like the keyboard and battery and such that im totally fine replacing. i guess the line is when he'd stop feeling like himself to me, its hard to specify where that line starts and ends but as long as at the end of the day he'll still feels like Adam to me it's something im willing to change
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dannyphantomiscool · 11 months ago
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While Damian never stops fighting, just going from assassin to vigilante immediately, Danny… does. He doesn't continue his training, and very deliberately rejects everything he was taught in his childhood.
He heals. He leaves behind the violence and the death and gets a normal life, with a sister and friends and school.
Dying throws a wrench in that.
It'd probably take him longer to accept what happened than in canon. He doesn't want to believe it, doesn't want to acknowledge that his life is changing (that he's changing) when he's just become situated into Normalcy, even as his school is being attacked by a ghost.
But he does, and he decides that even if he'll have to let violence back into his life, dust off his old training and skills, he's still not going to be what the League made him into.
Nobody is going to tell him what to do. Nobody is going to make him fight anybody he doesn't want to, and nobody is going to make him kill.
Nobody is going to make him give up his friends even though they're a "weakness".
I think something interesting in the damian&danny twins/danyal al ghul au that i don't see explored,,, basically ever, is how Danny heals.
I always see his personality made more similar to Damian's, which does make sense bc of his altered childhood. But i think it's far more interesting to keep it more canonincal.
He doesn't text w proper grammar bc he rejects the strict way he was raised. He makes puns and jokes and laughs freely because he was never allowed that when he was young. He freely admits to caring about his friends and family bc that is something he can have now.
I want to see a healed Danny. I want to see an Al Ghul that actually got to leave the league, got to heal and become normal.
And it'd add a really interesting aspect to his death, and Phantom. He escaped and he healed and then he still got fucked over and lost it all.
He's right back to having to fight constantly, his friends are weaknesses that can be exploited against him, and his parents are fighting him.
Danny directly and explicitly rejecting his upbringing and taking his life back. Eating nasty burger and playing doomed and having friends and crushes like a normal teenager.
And then losing it all.
(But better to be like his father than his mother.)
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pepperyduck · 4 months ago
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cheater, pt.2 - satoru gojo
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word count: 1.2k
warnings: heartbroken gojo, jealousy, spiteful cheating, descriptions of suguru geto x reader, marriage problems, pathetic gojo. (18+ mdni!)
notes: gosh thank u for all the love on the last part!!! please read pt. 1 before this one, or don't, it's rly up to u.
you can find part one here
masterlist
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multitudes of shopping bags rustle when you enter your home, a home that’s been silent for months now since satoru left you for his girlfriend. he didn’t actually leave, traces of him still lingered around the house from time to time when he wasn’t out with her, but those encounters remained faint traces, you had barely spoken to him unless it was to discuss something important.
you had mostly talked to satoru about a possible divorce – he brought the subject up after weeks of his girlfriend begging him to be with her for good now.
“your parents will disown you, satoru,” you had said, physically ignoring the man that sat across the kitchen from you, “and mine will hate you. plus, you don’t make that much money now, anyway.” you passively insulted the man. satoru agreed, however, his parents adored you since birth, and divorce was one of the things they wouldn’t put up with. the marriage started for convenience, and it would stay that way until one of you mustered up the courage to make a divorce final.
the current situation wasn’t all bad, though, it was an agreement without words that you and satoru lived married while he had his fun. and with the more fun he had, the less you began to care. it was the first time in your life you were genuinely able to focus on yourself without a husband to worry about. you concocted many hobbies, you learned how to cook healthier – no longer having to adjust your tastes to satoru’s liking – and decided to hit the gym a few days a week. progress started slowly, but you could see the tone in your body begin to show after a few months.
now, you had time to think about your appearance more, you tried new things with your hair and makeup, you bought a new wardrobe to fit your liking better. your old clothes stayed pushed to the side, growing wrinkly as you filled your closet up with better designer brands, you no longer worried about what satoru thought of you. satoru had moved his things into a different room, leaving you the space of the master bedroom to fill up with décor you fancied. your confidence grew more than ever, beginning to feel beautiful after a while.
you were always beautiful, of course, but it’s a much better feeling when you can see it in the mirror.
deciding to give your husband a taste of his own medicine, you start to date around and dip your toes into the wonderful world of hookups and first dates. you think it’s insane how easily men are on their knees, begging for you to go on a date with them, just one date, please! you got better treatment over the course of a month than you ever had with satoru; men would vow their loyalty to you, something satoru never did, obviously.
after satoru’s refusal to divorce you, his girlfriend left him, but the fact was unknown to you. sure, you noticed him moping around the house more often, but you figured he finally got tired of her and needed space. but his time at home forced him to see you come home with all kinds of guys, ones that were taller, handsomer, and stronger than him.
satoru saw the change in you, and god, he had never felt so in love with you since you found your new confidence and style. you were simply ravishing, and now satoru feels a pang of guilt for failing to realize what he had in front of him for so long.
the envy that boiled in his chest was a new feeling for him. he never thought he would be jealous of you giving him the same treatment he had been giving you. yet, there he was, watching from the kitchen as you giggle wrapped in someone else’s arms, furiously making out in the entryway without paying any mind to satoru. it bothered him.
and, oh boy, when you walk through the door with his ex-best friend from college, suguru, satoru swears he could go crazy.
satoru’s eyes focus their attention from some tv dinner to the door when you and suguru stumble though, laughing and carried away in one another’s presence. he had never seen you feel so alive, not even when you didn’t know he was cheating, you never acted that way with him. satoru has a look in his eyes the instant he sees you, the same look he had when he was about to kill someone, a crazed, insane look.
suguru flips you around and pins you to the wall, so he’s facing right at satoru, and he looks him in the eyes as he fiercely makes out with you.
if satoru had a gun, he’d point it right at the both of you.
yet he doesn’t have a gun, or anything really, just a fit of jealously growing stronger and stronger the more you make out with someone that hurt him so badly.
so this is what it feels like, huh?
satoru stands up and slams his chair back under the table, only growing angry when it doesn’t seem to phase you at all. he goes upstairs and slams the door to his room shut when he enters. he doesn’t…he can’t do anything. he can’t stop you from having free will, and he definitely can’t call you out for doing the same thing to him that he did to you. he sits down on the bed, a bed he should’ve been sharing with you, and he tangles his fingers in his hair, insecure thoughts clouding his mind.
for once in his life, the smug bastard known as satoru gojo was pitiful.
the screams of suguru’s name keep satoru up until the early hours of the morning.
the next day, you’re cooking breakfast later in the morning after suguru leaves. it feels like a very successful night. satoru walks into the kitchen, having had a sleepless night, and plops down at the table while he stares at you.
you’re so perfect, you always have been, why did he have to be so stupid about ruining his marriage with the perfect woman?
“so, suguru, huh?” satoru questions, crossing his arms.
“hmm?” you hum, viciously smiling inside because the bothered tone satoru had was so deliciously obvious.
“listen,” satoru starts, hesitating for a moment because he might pity himself for the way he’s about to speak to you. “i’m…sorry,” he mutters, almost inaudible, sighing afterwards.
you glance over your shoulder, seeing your husband look so tired and…hurt?
“don’t apologize, satoru. you and i both know it’s much too late for that now,” you aptly reply, “you should’ve thought about that long ago.”
your words are a knife in satoru’s chest, and it only feels as if you’re stabbing him over and over the more you speak, looking away from him again to focus on the stovetop.
“don’t apologize to me because you feel bad now. you’re only saying sorry because your feelings are the ones getting hurt this time,” your words send waves of guilt, sadness, and downright pain through your husbands body, “and quite frankly, i don’t care.”
satoru wants to retort, he wants to reply with something smug but his mind draws a blank as he only stares at you, ultimately betrayed by his own actions — his once kind, sweet wife has left him behind in a mess of himself.
his apologies no longer mean anything to you. you’ve grown too strong for satoru. he’ll continue to be a pathetic mess, until one day, hopefully, you choose to forgive him for what he’s done.
maybe you will, maybe you won’t. it’s up for you to decide.
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taglist: @kalopsia-flaneur @painted-hills @kundere20000000
let me know if u wanna be added!
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tariah23 · 8 months ago
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W-WHA……………………?
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@tariah23
#KAJAJSHWHSH WHAT!??? ANON……………………… I feel like megumi waking up from the darkness but actually getting my ass up when yuuji came to save me#ah….. this is…. iJAAJJJAJ MANN WHAT THIS IS ALSO FOR ME WHAT THESJSJJ I am not… im not worthy actually please im not used to others drawing#stuff for me so you and my other friend all of a suddenansj I kind of want to throw up ❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!??#THANK YOU!?!!!! bb!!!! losing my mind RN!???? you’re always so sweet to me 😭❤️!!!#I have to get back to you on twitter tho!!! sorry I just haven’t been on fr because of work but this is a temp job so I have like one more#week with this location until I’m sent elsewhere 😭… I wish I could stay actually this shift is so easy I barely do anything all night#the only thing I have trouble with is trying to stay awake rly… orz#I will get back to you prob today tho I still haven’t replied back to some of the old ones ahhh#I saw this jjk fan edit that shoke me to the core and gotta show you I kinda of hate it (joking) because the edit looked like Gojo and#Ijichi’s daughter and I *impales myself immediately*#I couldn’t believe itjssjsjs#I’ll have to find the post again ajsjjss#I always love your art sm though you’re super talented!!!! you give your Gojo’s sm energy! he’s always SMILING that big smile and he gives#off major freak energy just how we like it 😭❤️!!!#you’re so good!!!!!#gotta do a trade with you once I clear off some comm and my other trades with buds as well 😭…#jujutsu kaisen#I hope things have been well 😭❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!#I didn’t even know you had an art acc as well 😭!!!#art for me
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fratttymatty · 2 months ago
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A few shorts
1
The second David put on the grey sweatpants his bulge significantly grew as well as his muscles. Shit he smelt like musk too. He was now Davis, the dumbest guy in college, the guy who only thought with his dick. He was also a massive dick, and he knew it. Oh and the girls loved it!
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2
Flick was a 79 year old man going on holiday to Ibiza. He booked into his hotel called "La Joven Transformación" not knowing that anything would happen. 4 boys, Alejandro, Harry, Nicholas and Josh dragged Flick to their room and injected him with something. Flick began to decrease in age by 60 years until he was 19. It also made him extremely hot. His muscles grew and his shirt disappeared. His mind changed and remembered he was in Ibiza to party with the boys. He forgot his name was ever Flick and he believed it was Clint since forever.
"Bros! I'm so pumped for this vacay man! Gonna get some hot Spanish chicas!" He said cockily.
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3
The second Craig stepped into the gym, he was sprayed with some sort of liquid which made him look like an absolute gym bro. His biceps were now huge and so was basically everything else about him, especially his ego. He was now Kyle and he took a picture of himself and uploaded it onto Instagram.
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4
Thanks to Jake's help, Greg had become yet another baseball bro in the school. He ditched the name Greg and became Grayson. He turned the blue baseball hat backwards and put on the white shorts. It made his muscles grow and his sport ability increase. It also made him grow to 6 foot 4. He took a picture and sent it to his girlfriend Libby.
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5
Joel was a nerdy guy in school. That was until one of the school's bad boy heartthrobs, Freddy, stuck a cigarette into Joel's mouth. Joel inhaled the smoke by accident, the smoke from the magical cigarette ran through his body. It pumped up his muscles, deepened his voice, made his hair more messy and disheveled, made him taller, made him gain a more bad boy brain. Before he knew it, he believed his name was Cole. Cole was the definition of a Tiktok bad boy. He picked up his phone and pulled out a cigarette before taking a picture and sending it to his girlfriend, Julia, captioning it with.
"You know youre rly cute right"
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6
Ian was a gay guy who was also a twink. He was walking around his university until a clearly conservative guy came up to him with another man who was recording him. The conservative gay was a gay called Jackson. Jackson was an "interviewer" on Tiktok, and Ian was his next victim.
"Trump or Kamala?" Jackson asked.
"Kamala duh." Ian replied which Jackson wasn't happy about and the cameraman stopped recording.
The phone flashed in Ian's face and changed him. Ian's muscles grew, his hair grew into a mullet-ish hairstyle, his voice deepened, he grew to well over 6 foot. As well as the physical changes his mind changed too.
He gained a very VERY conservative mindset, he straightened out, and he gained lots of new opinions that his old self would find offensive and controversial. He forgot his name was Ian and now his name was Evan. Jackson looked at him and re-recorded his part.
"Trump or Kamala bro?" Jackson asked again.
"Trump dude. I ain't no sissy!" Evan replied.
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7
Lila was a nerdy girl with one boy best friend, Martin, who was gay. She was at school and was studying alone in the library, then the cheerleaders came in. Polly, Viola, Hayley and Roxana were the most popular girls in school. They approached Lila and stuck a hairband on her head causing her transformation to begin. Her hair got long and blonder causing her to become ditzier. She gained an hourglass figure and developed a valley girl accent. Her face got more pretty and her lips plumped up. Her makeup became extremely sexy, as well as other parts of her body. Once it was over the cheerleaders took off the headband and then Lila gained a new name, Mia. She threw her books away and ran to the field with the other girls. She couldn't wait for Martin to change.
"Eeeekk! I'm like, totes excited to be a cheerleader. Can we like, change Martin too hehe?!" Mia says in a valley accent using her newly gained valley slang.
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8
Martin and Lila were best friends, until one day. That day was the day Lila, or Mia as she was now called, became a cheerleader. Martin was confused what happened. He was sitting in the art classroom and then Mia came up to him and placed a football helmet on his head. He instantly started to transform. His hair shortened and darkened to a dark brown and it gained a messy Tiktok boy style. He got more muscular and taller, and developed a deep voice. His face got more rugged and angular and his eyes darkened in colour. His personality got more confident and popular boy-like. He became straight and started to mainly think with his dick. Once it was over Mia took off the helmet and then Martin gained a new name, Matt. He threw away the art supplied and kissed Mia passionately. He was glad he was now a football player and that Mia was his cheerleader girlfriend.
"Yo babe. I love you, you're so sexy huhu!" He said in his new dumb voice
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(Decided to do a few of these for being gone for so long. Also short 7 and 8 are connected. And as always, all characters are 18 or over.)
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arolesbianism · 6 months ago
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Some more concept designs for my newest iterator ocs! In order we have Endless Grains of Sand (she/her), Deep Coated Mist (she/her), Purity Preserved (he/they), and Twisted Orbit (he/they/she). This is also in order from oldest to youngest, Sand and Mist are both Very old
(Synchronized Light is also a part of the group, they’re the very youngest)
#keese draws#rain world#rain world oc#iterator oc#rain world iterator#rw iterator#I’m considering adding one more member to the group but I’m not sure yet#I kind of wanna make someone to be the token just some guy of their local group since currently they’re a bunch of freaks and also sand#sand doesn’t count as the normal one though because she’s absolutely ancient and also in old woman love with mist#I need some just completely unremarkable guy to balance out these guys#but yeah real brief summary these guys are unique because they basically all recycle mist’s water output until it makes it’s way back to th#ocean that sand draws from and filters to send back to mist#mist is located on the peak of a very large mountain and is wildly innificent due to her being a rly rly old model so the steam she#produces condenses and flows down the mountainous area she’s located in#and that leaves to there being enough water in the vast rivers and lakes she ended up producing to be used for several other iterators#newer iterators mostly but purity is a gen 2 iterator so he’s not even as efficient as the newer models mist is just that inefficient#mist is also easily the biggest of her local group with synch and light being in second#personality wise sand is very logical and blunt but not mean or aggressive more so just very earnest#she still comes across as distant but that’s mostly just because she believes it’s important to not influence those around her too much#mist on the other hand is a lot lore grumpy and judgementsl#she takes great pride in her history and has very strong beliefs about how things should be gone about and it frustrates her when others#disregard these ideas especially when it comes to her younger neighbors who mostly very much do not respect her#purity is very full of himself and has been obsessed with the idea of being the first to produce a genuine triple affirmative#he ofc was pissed as hell when the sliver incident happened and is desperate to find a way to rewrite that bit of history in his favor#and orbit is very detached and cold towards most of those around her but will love bomb the hell out of anyone she takes a liking to#orbit used to have a sort of girlfriend who was an ancient who she used to watch paint#and eventually said ancient got arrested and sentenced to doing hard labor for a time and orbit pulled some strings to get her stationed to#do cleaning and repairs for their superstructure so that the two could meet in person#but things got real messy and moment (the ancient) ended up incredibly miserable and desperate for an escape before she ended up dying in#a void fluid pipe rupture incident leaving orbit in shambles
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devilmademewriteit · 2 years ago
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Playing Dangerous
part 2 of Salvatore
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pairing: javier peña x afab!fem!reader
summary: sure, the fact that he’d schemed up an entire, elaborate ruse to get between your legs was upsetting. more upsetting was the fact that he refused to fess up, insisting that you needed to be protected (or at the very least—cautious) because your life was in ‘grave danger.’ most upsetting, however? that would be the fact that through it all and above everything else, you still wanted him—badly.
warnings: rough sex/smut (fingering, fem penetration, oral [m receiving]) so 18+ only content; afab fem reader; mentions of reader having long hair; bratty!reader; brat-tamer!javi; alcohol consumption; smoking; pet names (baby, sweetheart, cariño, hermosa); some angst; dubcon (slight intoxication, power imbalance, age gap).
word count: 10.7k (sorry again)
no use of y/n in this fic
hello here is part twooooo! thank you for all the love on Salvatore I absolutely love all of you so much. you don't rly need to read p1 to enjoy this, just know that: reader is the ambassador's secretary and is an asshole, Javi is also an asshole, they fucked for the first time a few days ago b/c he took her home after someone seemed to be after her life.
don’t forget to join the taglist if you’re nasty; feedback, asks, comments, smoke signals and carrier pigeons always welcome. kisses. -em<3
read part 3, Dark Paradise, here.
Let’s get in the back of your cop car, officer! - Playing Dangerous
“I am not speaking to you.”
Murphy’s eyes come alive with exasperation, a striking shift from their usual half-asleep, perpetually vacant gawp. Not quite at the point of impatience yet, his voice is soft when he responds.
“Please.”
You lean back in your chair, crossing your arms. An impassive sneer makes its way onto your expression.
Not a fucking chance.
Not only were you not planning on ever doing Steve Murphy—and especially, his asshole partner—even the smallest of favours throughout your remaining time on this godforsaken planet, you’d come to the conclusion (quite recently, in fact) that you’d rather dance barefoot on broken glass than be in the same room as either member of the pair.
And it was a shame, really.
After that (now regrettable, once incredible) night at Peña’s place, everything had been fine.
More than fine. Not even awkward.
For a glorious moment, waking up next to him, ruined and sore and bruised and satisfied, sharing a morning coffee and then a ride to work—peace (and the planted seeds of something else, too) had finally settled across the worn-in battlegrounds between you, solid roots spreading with each passing second spent not bickering. For crying out loud, when he’d gotten called away to Bogotá that very same day, you’d put yourself to work keeping his place clean, going so far as to anticipate his return.
Everything had been fine.
Until, of course, you’d gotten the old Chevy serviced.
“Car’s running fine, señorita. Put that missing part back, s’good to go.”
“Missing part?”
“The spark plug—wasn’t in there when we looked.”
And the missing pieces fell into place.
How he’d waltzed into your car earlier on in the day, running his fingers along the hard, hot plastic of the dash—analyzing, observing, and finally commenting on your shitty engine. Then, he’d been conveniently there, waiting for you in the middle of the night, watching you wrestle your hood open in the parking lot after work. Hell, he took you to his place after he’d told you he'd seen a shady truck parked in front of yours… and you’d trusted him.
Without bothering to check for yourself, you’d trusted him.
You had to hand it to the man; it was a clever plan. Wear you down during the day only to corner you while alone, vulnerable, and at night, with no possible avenues for escape.
All to get inside your pants.
God.
Murphy huffs, bringing you back down to Earth. “Listen,” he rubs his temples, exhaustion weighing down the curves of shoulders, “We just want to make sure you’re safe. You don’t have to stay with him, either; Connie—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” you snap, narrowing your eyes in full view of his own. “I keep wondering, though... seeing as you're… thick as thieves, these days,” you lean forward over your desk, studying his swallow. “Was it you that shot off that gun? Or did he get someone else to participate in his little scheme?”
The agent tilts his head to the side, putting on the air of a wordless 'really, sweetheart?' before launching into a recitation of a sorely well-versed explanation.
But you cut him off, unforgiving in your suspicion. “Don’t bother, alright? Even if I did believe that, what, some 'cartel sicario'—” you emphasize the ridiculousness of the statement by tossing up a couple of well-timed air quotes “—was after me…?” and then you’re gesturing wildly to yourself, fingertips pointed straight to your heart. “I would rather die—really, seriously, die—than step foot into your home—or-or fucking Peña’s—Ever. Again.”
The mounting ire behind your breathless rambling finally wears him down; he surrenders his complexion to a look of genuine defeat. His arms drop to his sides, heavy and limp.
As you try to appear busy, fidgeting with the scattered papers and documents lying listlessly across your desk, Murphy turns on his heels, stooping toward the exit.
For a brief moment, he hesitates, coming to a slow halt halfway down his holy pilgrimage of freeing you from his fucking presence.
“Did you…” and he briefly trails off, anticipating your wrath with a wince. “Did you fill out that form?”
Irritation clouds your thoughts. Its manifestations in your body feel almost violent.
“What do you think, genius?”
You scare yourself with the aggression underpinning each and every word.
Inside the safety of your mind, your inner dialogue treats him even worse.
Go, motherfucker. Go, go, go, go, go or I’ll tear us both apart, I’ll explode, I’ll—
You hope that it’s Luck listening to your prayers (and not God), because as soon as your brain has time to register the nature of your wicked, near sacrilegious thoughts toward the man, Murphy’s yellow-dusted crown is drooping down in eventual resignation, leading the way as he trudges back to his corner.
A relief.
A short lived one.
Too short.
Because…
Well, because those fucking memories won’t stop replaying inside your mind, etched like crude Botticellis on the backs of your eyelids.
Overlaying the non-stop highlight reel of a vicious fight with Peña, just that morning—
“Well, I didn’t see a car. What I saw was you, whipping me over to your fuck-pad—and now? I see your whole... fucking masterplan to get me into bed.”
“You’re talking fuckin’ crazy. There’s no pussy in the world that’s worth pulling all that.”
—are flashes of his bare, glistening chest, an almost tangible haze of longing obscuring his eyes. You’d taken him in your mouth; you’d felt him all over: against you, with you, inside you.
And when you’re not seeing him, you’re forced to hear him, over and over and over again.
“You fuckin’ sing for me when you’re comin’ on my cock.”
So, you push certain memories away by calling on certain others, repeating every cruel word you’d ever exchanged with each other like a mantra, an affirmation.
They remind you of the man that Javier Peña truly was.
“You are the worst person I’ve ever had the shit-luck of meeting, Peña.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not too crazy about you, either. Got some serious growin’ up to do, sweetheart.”
A loud snap wrenches you back to your senses. You unfurl your fingers to reveal the broken remnants of a poor, innocent pencil you’d been white-knuckle-death-gripping.
What really had you ticking was that, after you’d hurled accusations and insults at him for the better part of an hour—totally monopolizing the space of the familiar, dusty old filing room—he’d had the nerve to continue on with his little act.
“You don’t have to stay with me—”
And his voice had been coated in poison, laced with the kind of fiery contempt that surely only a guilty man could achieve.
“—but do me a favour and just don’t be a fuckin’ idiot. It’s shit work, hiring new secretaries.”
He hadn’t waited around for an answer, leaving you alone with his final words and a mountain of your own unsaid ones.
So, you’d hissed a “fuck off” to the lingering ghost of his presence in the room, trying, in vain, to slow your shallow breaths.
You heave a sigh, forehead dropping to lay heavy against the desk.
If only you could take your brain out for the day. If only you could run it under cold water. Better yet, if only you could scrub it clean with bleach, put it in the dishwasher, run it with the damn laundry—anything to make it shiny and new and untainted.
Peña was lying.
He had to be lying.
What kind of shit sicario goes after secretaries who, beyond not knowing what they’re supposed to know about, don’t care enough to actually retain any of it?
Not a good sicario. Definitely not one who would still be alive in Medellìn, today.
It was all bullshit.
~
You weren’t the kind of person who attended work parties.
They always ran excruciatingly long. On top of that, you had to watch traumatized coworkers drink. A lot. Then, there was, of course, after-hours work-talk.
None of that had ever screamed 'best night ever!' to you.
Tonight, however, you hadn’t been given a choice: the ambassador had needed 'someone there, you know, just in case work stuff comes up’ which really meant that she was banking on you to give her a ride home at the end of the night.
Like that was happening. She hadn't been pleased when you'd made it clear to her that you were out of commission, off-the-clock, done-zo starting at fifteen to ten. You'd hoped that, at that point, she would've rescinded her original request. 
She hadn't. 
Still, Noonan had spent the week being remarkably kind to you—maybe her invitation was her (deeply misguided) way of trying to make up for the shit-storm she’d watched you face over past few days (whether she believed Peña’s dystopian, hitman fantasy was uncertain; either way, she’d witnessed your torment at his hands, and both realities seemed equally as emotionally taxing).
Despite all the hints you’d dropped about wanting the night off, she either hadn’t noticed, hadn’t cared, or thought you were just trying to be polite.
Come on.
She’d been your boss long enough to know there was no chance of you pussy-footing around out of politeness.
The event was meant to commemorate some big accomplishment—a narco sting gone right (or else, some big narco boss gone six-feet-under). The reason behind the festivities wasn’t of any importance to you—getting through the next few hours as quickly and as painlessly as possible took up all of the remaining (albeit limited) space in your head.
Because, afterwards? You were going out. 
A good friend’s bachelorette, a shit-ton of dark tequila, and the warm lips of a total stranger.
God, you needed that. Every intimate spot on your body was in desperate need of a cleanse. Your tongue, the soft skin between your thighs, the peach-fuzz on your cheeks…
They remembered him.
They made sure you couldn’t forget him.
About half-way through serving your sentence in regulatory purgatory, someone turns on the stereo. A Queen song—the one that everyone knows. You’re looking around, trying to locate the source of the sound.
It’s mostly administrative and political bodies crowding up the office's stuffy foyer. There’s an odd clink of glass meeting glass whenever someone new walks in, or else when a deal’s finally graduated beyond the negotiation stage.
It’s too highbrow, too boring and white-collar for restless DEA agents, you remind yourself.
Slowly, slowly the hours trickle by.
The music helps—every Diaz song has the minutes moving double-time.
And after what feels like centuries of excruciating small-talk, of brushing off endless, casual condescension, of staring at the clock hanging off the wall, finally, it’s time to go.
First, a last minute change (you’re not wearing a damn button-up to the bar—it’ll be a tight dress and cute shoes or absolutely nothing at all) and a quick refresher in the bathroom. Then, you’re trailing a bee-line towards the exit with 'home-free' on the tip of your tongue. 
Keep your head down. Nod. A chagrined smile to each pair of gawking eyes.
‘Cause soon? You’ll be dancing.
You’re straddling the office doors, left foot in, right foot out when an authoritative voice calls your name from behind.
Christ Almighty.
Turning slowly, you find yourself triangulated between Noonan and…
Fucking Steve Murphy.
That one looks apprehensive. The former?
A bit red in the face.
“Murphy, here,” the ambassador gestures sloppily towards the agent’s uneasy form, “Tells me he needs something. Papers, right? Think we can get that to him before you leave for your… little soirée—what do you say?”
She doesn’t catch it, but he does; your unbridled, aversive stare pierces him right between his eyes. Forcing it down (and oh, does it ever burn your throat) you etch a reluctant smile, nodding wordlessly to your boss.
God, if only money were an object. This damn job would be a short paragraph on your resume, a blip in your timeline on this Earth.
Noonan slaps Murphy on the back, harrumphing as though she’d just solved world hunger. Quickly, she finds someone new to accost (or be accosted by), swept into a different, equally-boring conversation before you can even begin to feel angry at her for putting you into such a… distasteful position.
And you whir on him.
Before the rush of accusations gets a chance to part from your lips, Murphy interrupts you, putting his hands up in mock surrender.
“I didn’t say a thing.” He sounds serious, sincere. “Swear. She came up to me and just… knew all about it.”
You narrow your eyes in suspicion. Nonetheless, your fingernails slowly retreat from their burrows in the skin of your palm.
It’s not because of his earnestness.
No.
It’s because only a serious maniac would flaunt their under-the-table bullshit so publicly, flying it right under the ambassador’s nose. Whatever those records were for (and whatever the reason why Peña and Murphy so badly needed them), it was becoming increasingly clear that they were not intended to land in either of their hands.
Murphy hadn’t been nervous because of you. He’d been nervous because of her. A little less drink, a bit more curiosity, and Noonan would've been privy to whatever it was that the pair was up to.
“Fine.”
He exhales, shoulders relaxing, dropping like stones with the release.
Without another word, you make your way down the hall, charging toward the alcove harboring your desk. Murphy trails behind, five feet back at all times like a recently-scolded school-child.
Good.
It takes a few, long minutes to get the job done.
He waits around anxiously, fiddling with your stationary (until you slap his hand away from your beloved pens and planners) and pacing around the room.
When it's done, you don’t read the form, you don’t investigate. The less you know, the better.
And frankly?
You couldn’t give less of a shit.
As the papers slide out of the printer, you warn him: “You’re gonna need a signature from their side, you know. I can only get you so far.”
He nods, taking the precious sheets in hand. “Think we got that side covered.” Then, he’s reading them over, checking to make sure everything's in order. You stand with your hand on your hip, waiting impatiently for his goddamn approval. After an eternity (really—by the end of it you’re genuinely wondering whether the man should get tested for dyslexia), Murphy hums in satisfaction, giving you an awkward, “Thanks, again.”
You scoff, crossing your arms over your half-exposed chest.
Didn’t even thank me a first time, asshole.
He spins around, aiming for the exit, when another body appears before him.
And the man stops Murphy in his tracks, deep-brown eyes trailing down to the packet of papers cradled between his partner's hands.
“Noonan came through, then.”
It’s all he says.
Your nostrils flare.
The skin on your face positively burns.
Of course it had been him. He was probably the entire reason behind the ambassador’s unusual tipsyness, too. Hell, he’d probably fed her Prosecco and half-compliments ‘til she’d been more than happy to do him a million favours.
Wasn’t that his M.O., anyways? ‘Get ‘em drunk and get my way?’
Three comfortable, familiar words find themselves sliding—easily—off your tongue.
“Fuck off, Peña.”
You surprise yourself with the cruelty of your tone, the biting emphasis of each word.
He settles his onyx eyes on you. They glaze over with hunger, with amusement, with danger.
Fuck.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, sweetheart—I will in a minute,” and he nods at his partner, effectively dismissing him.
Murphy hesitates, eyes jumping between the stand-off taking place before him. Likely, he was trying to decide which one of you was going to murder the other first.
Finally, with his beloved form tucked under his arm, Murphy heaves a sigh of resignation, and then he’s gone.
Leaving you alone with Peña.
The corners of his lips pull back into an arrogant smirk as his eyes rake over your body—done up, dressed down, and positively fuming in your little kitten heels.
“You look hot.”
It’s all he says.
Some girls would’ve killed to hear those words from him. You’d spent years watching their eyes trail his movements in the office, listening to their puling voices—'is Javi there?'—over the phone.
But it just makes you want to scream.
Fearing the actual possibility of that coming to fruition, you keep your mouth sealed shut. Tight.
Silence won’t do for Peña.
“What’d you tell me, once?” He muses softly, making his way towards your desk. “Somethin’ about this place not bein’ a… a what’d you call it? A brothel?”
Dog.
He yanks a retort from your lips as if he had full command over them. “I’m going out, asshole.”
His face twitches ever-so-slightly, just enough for you to catch the hint of emotion. Then, it’s gone.
“No, you’re not.”
Casual as ever, he does that thing: runs a finger from the corner of his bottom lip down the length of it, looks up at you through thick, dark eyebrows.
You bristle at the sheer, unwinding effect it has on you.
“Yes, I am.”
He raps his knuckles against the desk in irritation; nevertheless, his voice is soft, imploring as he persists. “C’mon, baby. I need you to listen to me, right now. It’s..." and he undresses you with a mere look, "It's not a good time for you to be goin’ to those kinds of places.”
Just like any other man.
Probably, Peña’s ego was so over-inflated that the mere thought of any of his conquests colluding with another man had him on the brink of spontaneous combustion.
Because God forbid you fuck anyone else.
God forbid you even think of touching anyone else.
And this strange, uncharacteristic possessiveness, this… need for control—it was wearing extremely thin.
The man had zero authority over you. He certainly didn’t get to preside over the choices you made during your free time.
“Don’t call me baby, Peña—I’m not your baby.” The snapped retort makes you sound so young, to the point where, for a moment,  you understand why the agent had called you a brat so many times that one, fateful night.
Still, you soldier on, focussed on freeing yourself from yet another one of the evening's grueling set-backs. “And I’m not gonna ‘listen to you’ just ‘cause you think you’ve got some sort of… machismo claim over me.”
A deft muscle in his jaw tenses. He rounds the desk, moving just a half-foot closer to you; that alone is enough to jump-start your heart, and you’re almost sure he can hear it, jack-hammering away inside your chest. You both know that being the first to step away signified weakness—concession—so you stay put (even when your legs yield to a slight wobble).
And he’s almost crooning. “You can spread those legs for half the country, for all I care, baby.” A condescending look, cast down at you over the bridge of his nose. “Not what this is about.”
Yeah, right.
“Please.” You roll your eyes. “Still working that angle?”
He takes a step forward. “Is it so crazy to think that I could just be tryna look out for you?” Meeting your gaze, he speaks earnestly—pleading through his irritation.
“I don’t need you to ‘look out for me’,” Your back grazes against the ambassador’s doors—you kick yourself internally for having subconsciously conceded to a back-step. “Especially not since the last time I thought that’s what this was?” your fingers gesture wildly between the (lack of) space separating your bodies, “You totally took advantage of me.”
A pause as the agent fluctuates from bafflement to genuine offense.
“Took adv—are you being serious?” he scoffs, shaking the coarse, dark hair on his crown. “I gave you, like, one drink.”
Victory courses through your veins at the sudden, intense flood of irritation marking his tone, the vein popping in his jaw. 
Anything to get to him, to make him tick, to scratch that itch. 
Dig. Dig. Dig.
A shrug. “Maybe you put something in it.”
His eyebrows jump up, eyes widening with the movement.
Just. So. Close.
“And… you know, I am a lot younger than you—”
“—okay, enough.”
Peña’s growled response has your voice fizzling out into nothingness. Closing what’s left of the distance between you, muscled form looming, he flattens you against the ambassador’s office doors. As one large hand slowly splays out next to your ear, the other comes up to grasp your chin. His fingers wrap around your jawbone, all the way from one ear to the other. 
You’re stuck, frozen under the weight of that dominant leer.
“Y’know,” he muses, deep and low, “It’s really fuckin’ obvious what all this is actually about, sweetheart.” Trapped in his glare, you watch his eyes grow dark, his gravelly voice falling into a register you’d never before heard it descend to. And he’s so, so close to you, close enough that you can smell him: that distinct, earthy scent of man that never failed to have your head spinning, your arms weak. “This… highschool bullshit you’ve been pullin’ since I got back… accusin’ me of all kinds of shit—"
You deny yourself the pleasure of looking at his lips when his words withdraw into an almost-whisper.
“Makes you feel real innocent, doesn’t it?
You don’t respond, concentrating on stifling the growing ache in your core, the thump-thump-thumps inside your rib cage, the lump forming in your throat.
A rarity, a miracle, Jesus turning water into wine: words fail you. 
“Know what I think, cariño?” His fingernails press into your cheeks, digging soft indents. Not to bruise—
To hold you steady.
To assure himself of his command over your full, devoted attention.
When he finally continues, his smoky breath raises the hairs along your exposed skin.
God, it must be, like, nine-hundred degrees in the room.
“I think”—and he’s toying with you, near-black eyes dancing with amusement—“You’re just embarrassed.”
Leaning in, his lips brush against the ridges of your ear, slow words washing over you in big, heavy waves. “‘Bout how easy it was for me to get between these legs.” Male, calloused fingers ghost over the skin of your thighs, creeping higher and higher up the length of your body.
“Remember how wet you got for me, cariño? Beggin’ me to fuck you so rough?”
And for a brief, suspended moment—
You do.
He leans back enough for you to watch his eyes harden, uttering an “I remember it all, baby,” as his thumb leaves your jaw to trace the highest point of your cheekbone.
And his tone turns to stone. 
“Especially when you’re acting like you need a fuckin’ reminder.”
Your cheeks grow red-hot. The ground feels unsteady under your feet—and the spell breaks.
Pig.
“You’re fucking vile, Peña,” you spit, wrenching his grip off your face. “And also, dead wrong.” Slamming into his shoulder, you aim to storm out.
He catches your arm, twisting you back around to face him. “If you go out tonight,” the man near-growls, lecturing down at you like a damn parent, “You’re putting your life and everyone else's on the line.”
You tear your wrist from his fingers, shrugging off his empty warning with a dramatic spin on your heels.
Strutting out, you leave him with a poison-coated, “Say ‘hi’ to the whores for me.”
And you’re gone.
~
It’s loud. Your feet are sore from dancing in your heels. A different, unfamiliar body is in reach in every possible direction from your own.
It’s perfect.
Five shots in and you still feel like you could take more, if only to forget the exhausting events of the day.
Less than 48 hours ago you’d been prepared—dear God, longing—to hand yourself over to a man you were now quite happy to never see again. With your hands wrapped around a stranger’s neck, you’re determined to cleanse yourself of his lingering traces.
He’s gazing down at you, male, hungry eyes gunning for the taking. Local, you guess, or at the very least South-American. After a daring look, you grab him by the collar, brushing your starved lips against his.
“Want to get out of here?”
The pronunciation isn’t great—but it does the trick. He nods enthusiastically, allowing you to take his hand in your own without hesitation. Too easy. The hard part is weaving through the agitated, bustling crowd with your nameless partner in tow.
It’s reckless. It’s stupid. But God, is it ever necessary.
Escaping your friends at the start of the night had been child’s play, and they could be counted on to be too fucked-up at this hour to notice your absence, anyway.
Good.
Your act of desperation would be remembered solely by its participants.
A gentle evening wind swirls around your tingling body, the day’s heat hanging thick in the air as you step onto the street, the syncopated thumps of Latin music fading unwillingly into the background.
Pivoting abruptly, you flatten yourself against the wall outside, pulling the stranger in close by the fabric of his blue button-up.
“Yours or mine?”
He smirks, gentle lines forming by his golden eyes. Internally, you commend yourself: the catch was quite pretty.
“Here is okay, I think.”
Then, his lips are on yours, parting you open in a sloppy, drunk kiss.
This could work.
His traveling hands already seem to be numbing some of the tension simmering under your skin.
This could work.
His rough kisses overwhelm your senses, slowly filling the hollow ache lodged at the heart of your core.
Please, God—let this work.
Just as a hand reaches up to cradle the back of your neck—
(let this work, let this work, let this work)—
Just as a pleased moan travels from your lungs into his own—
Tires screech against the pavement, slamming you back into your body, wrenching you straight into the dire moment. Tearing your lips from the stranger’s, you peer over his shoulder, eyes widening at the sight of a black Camino screaming to a stop right before you. Time stops; the windows are down, and what you know to be the barrel of a hand-gun pokes out from the backseat.
“Get down!”
Maybe it's in your head (after all, it would make sense for your psyche to summon his voice in a moment so violent); or maybe it's real. Either way, you listen to the command, hitting the ground without any reservations. And those stupid heels—you stumble, face-planting onto the pavement, scraping every exposed part of your body against hot, rough cement.
A cry of terror rips from your throat as the sound of bullets punctuates the warm, summer night—Jesus, it’s louder than anything you’d ever heard before. 
Somewhere along the chaos, the pretty stranger from the bar books it down the calle.
Everything happens so fast. A familiar Cherokee veers in the way, separating you from the attackers. The surrounding air becomes rife with lead, a terrified chorus of male and female voices joining the symphony, and you really can’t tell whether the pain in your chest is from the friction of your own harmonizing screams or if it’s bullets tearing through your body. From the ground, you watch your attackers’ vehicle take off down the street, haphazardly parting crowds of cowering civilians in its wake.
When it all stops, it doesn’t really stop.
Violence persists, ringing in your ears like a doomsday clock going off, an A-bomb alarm siren. The echoes are happy to prolong your torment.
The Jeep’s passenger door swings open. You scramble back, scampering down the pavement as adrenaline claims you in never-ending rushes.
“Get inside, now.”
You nearly sob with relief at the familiar voice. It hadn't all been in your head. Jumping up on unstable legs, you lunge into his car, jerking the door shut behind you.
Without sparing a moment, his white-knuckled hands yank the wheel to the side, veering onto a road just off the main strip.
Javier Peña’s never looked so stressed.
“You’re not gonna follow them?” It comes out as a cry, a desperate plea for retribution.
He doesn’t answer.
Which doesn’t stop you.
You want to see them punished for making you feel so helpless, and for the scrapes and bruises decorating your elbows, your knees, your palms.
“Javi,” a begging king of shout, “Why aren’t we following them?”
“‘Cause you’re in the fucking car!”
In the heat of the moment, the cutting edge of his harsh tone doesn’t bother you. If anything, it’s gentle compared to the violent sensations stewing within your body and mind.
“So?”
He takes a sharp right, slamming your side against the Jeep’s hard interior.
“Been in enough…” He grits his teeth, trying to keep his irritation in check, “Compromising situations tonight, alright? Now, just shut up ‘n let me drive.”
You pipe down, not awfully interested in getting yelled at again in your fragile state.
At first, it feels like the full-body trembles wracking your entire being won’t ever cease. And yet, by the grace of God, after a few minutes, the thundering behind your ribcage slowly subsides.
It helps that you’re still a little buzzed.
It especially helps when his driving slows and the streets begin to empty—when the shops and houses become more and more recognizable, when the night grows more and more tame.
You know where he’s headed. The safety of the intended destination has you relaxing, finally level enough to take deep breaths.
Eventually, he stops the car, cutting the engine in full view of his building's front door.
The rumbling stops, and suddenly, it's very quiet. Javier groans, leaning back against his seat, bringing a hand up to his temples. He doesn’t look at you, keeping his eyes closed behind the palm of his hand.
And oh.
He’s pissed.
“Go inside, lock the door, don’t open it for anyone.” His command, though dripping with ire, is underpinned with genuine concern. When you don’t respond, he finally shifts his gaze to meet yours, fixing you with an intimidating, severe kind of stare.
“Do you understand?”
At first, your impulse is to respond with a bitchy retort, to meet his intensity head-on with your own brand of unpleasantness. You stifle that reflex, taking stock of the situation at hand: Peña had just saved you from a flurry of bullets.
Peña… had just saved you…
And the realization hits you like a punch to the gut.
He’d been telling the truth.
Someone was really after you. Twice, now, they'd tried to take your life.
And, still? Your addled brain can’t seem to wrap itself around the idea of Peña’s innocence. Your bursting question takes you both by surprise.
“So, you didn’t take my spark plug?”
He stares at you, full mouth parted in genuine bewilderment. Then, he scoffs, breathing an exhausted exhalation. “No, I didn’t take your damn spark plug, sweetheart. That’s what I’ve been saying. If you’d bothered to actually fuckin’ listen for once in your life…” he shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “‘Could’ve avoided all… this.”
Shame tries its best to seep into your core. You resist it, scrambling for reasons to justify your actions to him.
To yourself.
You hated being wrong. That feeling had a tendency of overwhelming everything else—of overriding rationality, itself.
So, you turn to a classic defense, an ol' reliable: deflection. “After all the shit you’ve put me through over the years, can you blame me for not, just like, blindly trusting you?”
He scowls, angling his shoulders to square off with your own.
“Never asked for you to ‘blindly trust’ shit, though, did I?” He huffs, “Jesus.” 
You try not to wince as he continues on, as the truth of his words and the seriousness of his delivery render you mute. “You’re a secretary, sweetheart. This is my job—my life—okay? When I tell you to be careful, for the sake of your own damn good, you need to listen to me.”
There’s a long pause as his words tease out your final, entangled threads of resistance.
He was right. You’d been stupid in your denial, putting yourself and dozens of others in danger.
Putting Javi in danger.
It takes everything you have to fight the tears threatening to well along your lashes. But there's no sense in allowing yourself to mourn your mistakes—at least not at this very moment.
No, now was not the time to work through your shame.
Now was the time to seek forgiveness.
To make amends.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, trying to catch his downcast eyes. 
And it’s true.
Javi shakes his head, resisting your apology. He says nothing, and your heart aches for him.
Whatever this man was—he hadn’t deserved a fraction of the hell you’d given him.
The hell you’d given him because…
Because he’d gotten close. Too close. Close enough to soften you, to see you in a way that not one single person had the right to. He’d been a novelty: the first man you’d trusted enough to be capable of handling the full breadth of yourself. And when that had started to feel volatile—as though he’d gained too much of you?
Well, you’d needed a reason to push him away. To wrench yourself back from him.
Because you’d been embarrassed.
Knowing that he’d been right about that, too, makes you feel so small, so young, and deeply naive.
Immature.
You lean over, crooning at his turned profile.
“I mean it, Javi.” His name is your weapon—you will it to wear him down—a reminder of what it sounds like leaving your lips. “I’m sorry.”
Again, silence.
It’s fucking unbearable.
Placing an unsteady hand on his knee, you trail it up his thigh—slowly. His chest hitches with the force of a deep, sharp inhale and yet, he still refuses to meet your gaze.
But you catch his reflection in the glass: a slight twinge of the eyebrows, a delicate parting of the lips, and a hint of longing within those furious eyes.
Wiggle room.
“Could you ever forgive me?” You ask timidly, seductively, fingers creeping towards the crease of his trousers and that big silver buckle looming right above it.
Finally, he turns, his expression meeting yours with a hungry (albeit still deeply annoyed) look.
That wanting you’d learned to recognize…
It excites you.
And as you tug at his belt, releasing it with tantalizing slowness, you keep your steady gaze on his undecided one, uttering a pleading, “I can make it up to you, baby.”
Wordlessly, he watches your fingers move to the button of his pants, then to his fly, working with dedication, with delicate care.
There’s movement as you reach your fingers underneath the fabric. He grows hard for you, burgeoning out of the fabric in a matter of seconds.
It’s all the invitation you could’ve possibly hoped for.
His skin is hot against your knuckles as they slide down his lower abdomen. Grasping the base of his cock, you use two hands to spring him free.
God, he’s even bigger than how you’d remembered him—bigger than even your guiltiest fantasies.
Javi groans softly when you pull him, releases a hot, shallow breath when you stroke him, and a low, breathy “fuuuck” when you finally, finally take him in your mouth.
He tastes like the salt of the ocean. This close, you can smell men's cologne mingling with sweat.
It’s heaven.
And you just don’t want him to be angry anymore. It’s all you can think about—lips cradled adoringly around his cock, tongue running up and down the long length of him—as he throws his head back in pleasure.
He eventually relaxes, conceding to the ecstasy you persuade him with. Almost drinking the uncertainty—the resistance—right out of him.
“Christ,” he groans, tangling his fingers in your hair, forcing you to take in every last inch of him. “Wanted to shut you up like this all fuckin’ day.”
It becomes a challenge to breathe, but air simply isn’t a priority with a man like him at your fingertips, as your responsibility. This, he knows, his heavy hand determining the slow, careful pace, the impossible depth, and the angle of your unspoken apology.
Growing wet and lightheaded at the same time, you loose a moan against his velvety skin.
Javi laughs, darkly. “Always got somethin’ to say, huh? Even with a mouth full of cock.”
You smile around him—taunts are good. Better than silence, anyways. “Mhmm.”
The sounds of his laughter rumbles soft and low throughout his middle—so different, so sweet and innocent compared to the wet, filthy ones produced by your mouth’s ministrations.
You give him everything you have, ignoring the droplets forming in the corners of your eyes and lips, the dull burning inside your lungs. When the tip of his cock lodges at the back of your throat, you keep him there.
Whatever Javi gives you, you take.
Happily.
Every last drop would find its home inside you, traveling down the length of your tongue and into all of your warmest places.
It was the least you could do for him.
But he has other plans. His hand bunches up your hair, tightening into a fist to pull you off of him. His cock pops out from between your lips; you’re guided up to face him.
He looks stern.
Dangerous.
Out of breath, tears sliding down your cheeks, lips glistening with the slick of your own spit—you’re a welcome sight to any man of his kind.
“Say it.”
He makes use of his free hand, wiping the coarse pad of his thumb over your bottom lip, clearing the string of saliva collecting there.
It’s not rocket science, figuring out what it is that the man wants to hear.
“I’m sorry, Javi.”
Neither of you had ever known how much an apology could sound like a prayer.
“Yeah?” Despite the gentleness of his tone, his eyes darken with lust to the point that you feel genuinely nervous about his intentions. “What are you so sorry for, hermosa?”
Fuck, the pet-names... the way his voice changed when reverting to its native tongue—rolling with confidence. At such an awkward angle, you’re forced to grip onto his forearms to keep balance. They feel strong and unbending beneath your fingertips. 
Everything… everything about him draws you in.
He just makes you crazy.
Crazy enough to smile, to turn your profile to the side, laying a long, careful kiss to his palm. Crazy enough to answer his question in a needy, whiney whisper: “for being such a brat.”
He almost smiles, near-black eyes dancing with hunger, with approval, with a playful kind of ire.
Jerking his head to the right, he gestures to the backseat. “Wanna show me how sorry you are, cariño?”
You’re nodding before the question really even registers.
He releases his hold on you, deft fingers quickly untangling from your hair.
Victory. Victory. Victory.
Then, you’re stumbling out of the passenger side, opening the door to the backseat.
(You take a second to commend yourself for driving a man so wild, making him so impatient that he couldn’t be bothered to walk the ten feet required to fuck you inside his apartment. Or, maybe he just liked letting the neighbours watch.)
Before you can even step foot inside the car, you’re being hauled by your upper arms onto Javi’s lap. He manhandles you into his desired position, spreading your knees around his thighs until your dress is hitched up, only covering your ass half-way.
After snaking a hand between your bodies, the agent runs his thumb down the slick fabric of your underwear.
Already, you’re holding back a slew of pathetic whines.
“Next time you give me head”—God, the feeling of those fingers against your clit, the bliss of them pushing your panties to the side, assessing your readiness for him—“Wanna be able to see that pretty mouth while my dick’s inside it, sweetheart.”
His lust has him speaking a bit out of breath. It makes every crude, filthy word sound sweet, almost endearing to you.
Nodding in response, you work with him—lowering yourself onto his fingers as he pushes them between your folds.
“Jesus Christ,” he smiles, head falling back in appreciation, “You’re soaked.”
His fingers curl up, pressing to please in all the right places. Your answer arrives between gasps: “You tasted good.”
That pleases him.
“Yeah?” and he’s dragging his digits out of you, letting them trail through your folds and along your heavy, sore clit before leaving you wanting, leaving that needy cunt clenching around nothing. “I bet you taste even better.”
Then, his grip is on your jaw, pressing damp spots into your skin under his index, middle, and ring fingers. With the pad of his thumb pressed firmly to your bottom lip (and the row of teeth behind it), Javi eases your mouth open, wider and wider and wider for him.
“Show me—show me how good you taste.”
His index crawls onto your tongue. You close your lips around it, sucking him in until his fingernail scratches the back of your throat. He wants to be shown, so you show him: gazing intently into his eyes, you watch his brow furrow as he studies your every movement, as he drinks in your every moan.
“Fuckin' hell,” he groans, commending your efforts. “You’d do anything I asked right now, wouldn’t you, hermosa?”
Your bottom teeth graze the undersides of his index as you pull off—“yes, Javi.” Almost instinctively, you’re reaching your hand down, letting it coast down the hardness of his chest to rub circles around the slick tip of his cock, still peeking out from his open fly.
“Not yet,” he clicks his tongue, pushing his index, and this time, his middle and ring, too, back through the opening of your lips, “Need to clean yourself off every one of these fingers, first—thaaat’s right.” You listen, obediently sucking everything he gives you. He instructs and praises, “easy—easy, cariño, there it is,” as he watches you glide up and down him in slow, big pulls, all the way down to his knuckles.
It’s fucking filthy, and he loves it, unable to keep that arrogant smirk off of his face.
He’s practically in paradise, coming up with a mental list of creative ways to shut you up.
Still, Javi allows you to multitask: all the while, your fingers continue to explore the exposed parts of his cock. Only when he’s satisfied, when his length couldn’t possibly get any harder—only then does he free your mouth, letting his damp fingers trail down the side of your neck.
The feeling sends a shiver up your spine.
Without warning, he yanks down the straps of your dress and bra, pulling them all the way down until you’re postured on his lap, chest fully exposed; his abrupt movement has you loosing a stunned "Javi!" He runs his palms over the most sensitive peaks of your breasts, a hungry smile teasing the corners of his lips.
Then, he shrugs. “Told you last time I wanted to see them. Got the prettiest fuckin’ tits, hermosa.”
You don’t have time to roll your eyes, to laugh, or to really even register the vulgarity of his words, nor the taunting, degrading way they’re delivered to you. Javi’s already holding both you and himself up in one arm (and, oh, how you’d simply ached for the feel of his strength) pulling down the waistband of his pants. He maneuvers you into the proper position to receive him in, two pairs of downcast eyes watching his cock spring free, tip curving in, grazing against the fabric of his shirt.
He rushes, but it still feels torturously slow. You’re craving, needing, as he uses the dark head of his cock to ease your ruined underwear to the side, guiding himself towards your dripping opening.
This time, he’s far too impatient to make you beg for it.
Ecstasy forces your back into an arch as he pushes himself between your walls, as you feel him filling you up, up, and up—wordless mouth falling open, your heavy head collapses aaall the way back.
Immediately, a hand is at the back of your skull, forcing your gaze back downwards. “No, no, no, baby, you let me see—let me see you when you ride,” and his voice is a little strained, a little desire-stricken, a little bit softer as he settles his every last inch inside your cunt.
Your irises could be forest fires as you set your sights on his own, seeing nothing, absolutely nothing but Javier in that moment.
Moving your hips in tandem, you set your pace.
Mother Mary—it’s hard, so fucking hard to keep your legs steady when he stretches you open—wide fucking open—and as his head grazes that spongy spot inside.
He doesn’t help, either. In fact, while your hands dig anchors into his shoulders (sometimes his chest, his neck, his waist) just to keep yourself upright, his own are trailing up to the pocket of his shirt, pulling out a pack of smokes.
You mewl softly at the heat building inside your cunt, loosing an indignant whine as Javi neglects his responsibilities toward your climax.
“Gave me such a hard time today, baby,” he muses, placing a cigarette between his fingers and tossing the rest aside, “Wanna hear a fuckin’ ‘thank you Javi’ every time you come.”
His words dance around you like streetlights passing in the night, barely registering inside your disintegrating mind. How could they? With the feeling of his thighs grazing the undersides of your own, the buttons of his shirt nudging against your aching clit… how could anything else even exist?
All you can give him is an “Mhm.”
He pulls a lighter out, smirking. “‘Tough-talker ‘til this pussy’s all full, huh?”
“I-I’m sorry, baby, I’m s-sorry.”
And he laughs. “Don’t say it, cariño,” he takes your hand, placing the light inside your fist. “Fuckin’ show me.”
He rolls his hips. Your weight collapses against his chest.
“C’mon,” he coaxes, pushing you off, straightening you up before placing the cigarette between his lips, “Aaall you gotta do is light up the tip. You got it, sweetheart.”
His hands travel down to your ass, giving it a rough squeeze before his fingers splay out. He spreads you open over his thighs, watching the etchings of your lust corrupt your expression as he fucks himself—slow, deep, hard strokes—inside you.
“Fu—please, Javi—I can’t, s’too much, baby—please—”
A smile, full lips parting around the dart. “S’wrong, baby?” The words are low, breathy, teasing, contorting around the smoke in his mouth. “Can’t focus?”
God, just make him happy.
It’s the only thought you seem to be able to form. His request doesn’t seem to be up for debate, either.
So, summoning every last bit of control still lingering inside you, you bring a trembling hand up to the unlit end, a string of moans and ‘Javi’s rising from your throat.
And fuck, he’s beautiful, brimming with playful passion, orange filter hanging off those pretty pink lips.
Trying to still yourself, you flick the lighter on—the flame dances between you, illuminating the expansive darkness lurking inside his gaze. It takes everything, everything you have left to light it for him, to make that white tip glow red hot, to stay steady enough, to keep from burning him.
And also, to hold your pace. That grip of steel wrapped around your hip serves as a constant reminder—
Keep taking it.
In those final moments, he picks up his pace, of course. Your simmering blood bubbles to a boil, the flutters inside your cunt graduating into pulsing throbs.
As the flame finally takes, you feel every muscle inside your core tense—when Javi inhales his first drag, you straddle the precipice of your orgasm.
Your weight falls onto his shoulder. One of his arms reaches up to ash the cigarette; the other wraps tightly around you, bouncing you against him as exhales a cloud of smoke into your hair.
“Baby—Javi, I’m coming, I’m coming, I'm c—”
Heat builds between your thighs, and as that bundle of nerves grows heavy, pulsing with the rush of your orgasm, his thrusts only deepen.
He pulls you in close.
“I know, cariño,” Javi coos, condescending into the shell of your ear, basking in the feel of your cunt near-strangling him in adoration. “Can feel you, y’know? Got such a grateful lil' pussy,” he places a kiss to the side of your neck, groaning against the soft skin. “Always lets me know how much you love having my cock buried inside it.”
As he speaks, you try to catch your breath. To come down from your high.
It doesn’t work. Not while his hips continue to grind against yours, not while cradled between his arms like his holy beloved, and especially not with his tip still pressing against every available, wanting spot on your walls.
Javi takes another long drag from the dart. “What do you say when you come, baby?”
A big, laboured inhale, and the words come out in one, rushed exhalation. “Thank you, Javi.”
He responds with a downright cocky laugh. “You’re welcome, cariño. Good girl.”
The praise… it makes you melt.
Tangling his fingers in your hair, nails grazing the skin of your scalp, he pulls you off of his chest. Your heavy breaths mingle together in the stale heat of the Jeep Cherokee. 
You buck up, doing your best to keep pleasing him as he studies your devoted movements, as he leans back against the seat—groaning.
His hand—often glued to your rolling hip—provides you with only a mere hint of stability.
“That guy you were with,” he takes a drag from his cigarette, using his free hand to toy with one of your peaked nipples. “At the bar. You’d’ve done this for him?”
Your lips part, but no sound crosses the threshold of your lips. You’re dazed—still coming—and building to yet another peak. His unwillingness to move starts to ground you; the long length of every hard muscle beneath his arms, the round, bulging ridges of his shoulders… they become your salvation, places to lay your weight into. Riding him becomes second nature: you’re attuned to his rhythm and the desperate, commanding desires of your body.
Suddenly, you’re a part of him; when he exhales, the smoke creeps out of his lungs and into your own.
You burn right along with it.
He drops the still-smoking cigarette onto the seat next to your entangled bodies, bringing both his hands to rest against your dampened skin. One comes down hard, delivering a quick, harsh slap to your ass.
It would leave a mark.
“Tell me. Use that pretty mouth, hermosa. ‘Know you know how—used it—ran it all fuckin’ day.” Javi grunts, angling to bend over you, pushing into your guts as he wraps you in his arms, finally taking the burden of your weight off of your scraped up, wobbling knees. He continues on, “Tonight, too—been so easy, baby, lettin’ me put anything I want in there like a good lil' slut,” drinking in your cry of pleasure. He almost says it to himself, eyebrows furrowing as he reminisces, as your cunt begins to throb around his hardening cock once more. “You'd've done that for him, cariño?”
You swallow, trying to clear the stars dancing before your eyes, and that fuzzy sound of static. It muffles the symphony of Javi’s hoarse breaths, your own, helpless cries, and the filthy sound of skin colliding with—grinding against—skin.
He quickens, now, using you like a damn toy. Every rough thrust brings you closer to heaven; every ardent, breathtaking squeeze of his arms around your middle feels like angels sighing.
“No,” you breathe, closing your eyes. Your arms cling around his neck, fingers fanning through his thick hair—everything is him, him, him. He leans forward again, ducking down to kiss the hollow of your throat; you pull him in faithfully, moaning softly at the feel of his lips, his teeth under the valley under your jaw. “Only you.” It sounds like worship, sliding up an octave as that low ache worsens, as he compells a second climax out of your already-quivering body. “Only you, Javi.”
He growls, lips dragging up to your ear as the hairs of his mustache tease your cheekbone. “Prove it,” he breathes, deep thrusts growing even more erratic— needier, sloppier. You can barely hear him over your own noises, but he continues his gravelly coos inside your ear nonetheless. “Gimme another one, baby—wanna feel you comin' on my cock when I fill you up so fuckin' full, baby—show me that you’re mine—z’this pussy mine, hermosa?”
“Yesyesyes—oh God, y-yes—m’yours, Javi, y—”
Your legs seize as yet another release tears through your body. The skin of his neck anchors you in place, and you hang off of him like a rosary, digging your fingernails into the warmth of his flesh with every ounce of strength at your disposal.
He fucks you through your second climax, headed straight for his own.
“S-such a good girl, cariño—f-fuck—” Arms, wrapped around your waist, tighten enough to snap you in two as Javi crushes you against his chest, using the momentum of your entire, shaking body to finish himself off. He comes with a grunted “s-shit”—and you pay attention, wanting to commit the divine sound to memory. Swelling between your silken walls, Javi spills everything he could possibly give inside you.
A final, abrupt thrust, married with the non-stop, involuntary clench-and-release of your cunt works to cover every square inch of you with him.
When it’s over, the man refuses to let you part from him (not that you had any real desire to do so, anyway). A big, shaking hand keeps your head cradled in the firm crook of his neck, and he slowly, slowly  softens inside you. He basks in the final, weak flutters of your cunt as you lose yourself in the smell of his cologne.
His heart hammers in his chest. You can hear it with your ear pressed to his neck. Going limp, your damp forehead rolls onto the hard roundness of his shoulder.
That aching, sore opening soaks the skin of his thighs. You shiver softly, dripping onto the base of his shaft.
“Say it, cariño,” Javi murmurs, laying a rough kiss to your temple. He runs his hands up and down your bare spine, fingers dancing along your sticky skin.
You loose a breathy laugh against his golden skin. “Thank you, Javi.”
And you pull back just in time to catch his genuine smile.
It fucking melts you. Adoration, pride… spreading like tree-roots under rich, forest soil throughout your still-heaving chest.
He rubs the pads of his thumbs under your eyes, wiping clean some of the going-out makeup that had no-doubt become a total, leaking mess.
“‘Pretty when you’re nice, y'know,” he mutters, moving to cup your cheeks between his warm, hardened palms. And then he pauses, reconsidering his words. “But fuckin’ hot when you’re mean.”
A breathy giggle. “What can I say,” you whisper, trailing a few appreciative fingers up and down his forearms. “You bring out the very best in me, Peña.”
He scoffs, but smiles all the while.
Off in the distance, there’s music. Sounds of debauchery and excitement travel through the warm summer air, audible even through the closed windows. The night is alive for the rest of the city; somewhere far, far away, an engine growls, rubber tires squealing against the pull of hard pavement.
It takes him away.
Javi grasps your shoulders, pushing you up and back to effectively slide you off of his half-soft length. “I’ll wait for you to get inside,” he says, yanking his pants back up over his hips, tucking himself back into his briefs. “Make sure you lock the door, alright?”
Pause. 
What?
“You’re leaving?” You mirror him, hastily rearranging yourself—skinny straps find their way back above your shoulders, your short dress finds itself yanked down to its rightful place.
It’s awkward work, given the confines of the space.
The agent slips out from underneath you. He opens the door, rising from the backseat and straightening up with a groan. “Think I know where he was going,” he responds, mostly to himself. “I’m only, what…” a flip of his wrist as he checks the time, “Thiiiiiirty? Thirty-five minutes behind him?”
Before you know it, you’re bristling with irritation.
Again.
You throw your heels down on the street, unceremoniously shoving a cramping foot in each one. “Don’t be an idiot, Peña,” and you try your hand at standing, buckling slightly on a pair of Jell-o legs.
He comes around to your side, steadying you on your feet. Reflected in his deep-brown eyes is the same annoyance flashing across your own gaze. “D’you just expect me to be there, sweetheart? Z’that it? Every time your ass needs saving?”
Shame heats the soft skin of your cheeks. Your eyes trail down to the ground, volatile, incomprehensible emotions building with every passing second.
“It won’t happen again—I won’t-I won’t be so stupid, or-or—I won’t go out, anymore.”
He scoffs. “Yeah, well, that’s nice 'n all, but it’s sure as shit not gonna change anything.”
When you don’t respond, when you don’t look up, his edges soften. “They went to your house, sweetheart.” With his hands on your shoulders, he implores you to see sense. “It’s either we get them or they… get you.”
You exhale, hard. “You’re being dramatic.”
That does it for him.
After an exasperated shake of his head, he’s grabbing your hands in his own, placing a set of keys in the cradle of your palm.
His tone is low, demanding, unbending. “Lock the doors.”
Then, he’s turning to leave, walking to the front of the Cherokee.
Before rounding the corner, he turns his hardened profile to the side. The glare of the building’s lights dance on his tanned skin, turning the whole scene into a sort of lucid dream.
“Y’know, you’re really starting to piss me off with this whole… utopian fantasy you’re livin’ in.” He barely even addresses you, mumbling the rest of his sentiment mostly to himself. “I’m fuckin’ tired of being the only one looking out for you.”
Utopian fantasy?
You try to dismiss him—to call him ridiculous, to throw yourself into the familiar task of poking holes in his arguments—but… you can’t. Over and over, his words rush you in waves: “the only one looking out for you” “utopian fantasy” “the only one looking out for you” “utopian—”
Suddenly, you’re on a different street. In the same clothes, and in the same body, but somewhere far, far away, facing a different man. It’s somewhere very loud, where tires and knees come to a screeching stop against cement, where the downbeat of every Latin measure is punctuated by the sound of a bullet, inscribed with your initials, ripping through the static summer air.
Panic hits you like a bolt of lightning.
It doesn’t go away, either.
Not even once you’re back on Javi’s street, fossilized in amber, watching him move to the driver’s side of his Jeep.
All the fear you hadn’t allowed yourself to feel…
You’d forced him to shoulder it for you, instead.
But, inevitably, what goes around comes around. And he’s dropped your burden right back onto you with a few well-timed words.
Truth bares itself to you, settling heavy atop your bones like an ancient, primal wound. The result is a pair of unsteady legs, a perennial tremor in both, white-knuckled hands, and a crackling voice, resisting use.
“Javi…”
Only when you hear the sound of your own terror echoed back to you do you permit yourself to cry.
And there you stand. Disheveled, confused, broken—clothing misplaced, ruined, broken—
And you just don’t want him to leave.
Not now.
Not when you need him.
Not when you need someone.
Not when you think you’ve finally got it figured out, and especially not when you’re so damn close to speaking it into existence.
Realization. Acknowledgement. Expression.
It’s not a customary pattern, in your experience.
Javi stops in his tracks, stunned to a halt at the sheer emotion in your plea.
It stings when you clear your throat. “I just…” and you falter, strange, unfamiliar words sticking to your throat, sickly-sweet dried honey. Each vowel reverberates back to you, amplified by the acoustics of the empty street and their novelty.
Still, you’re not quite sure how he’s able to hear you, given that you can only bring yourself to speak a handful of decibels above a damn whisper.
“I’ve just never been important, Peña.”
You wipe a self-conscious hand across your face, clearing the sea-salt from below your downcast eyes.
Before you’re able to put a stop to it—it all comes rushing out. Averting his gaze, you ramble on in agitation.
“Not beyond being a-a pair of hands to make fucking photocopies—or as the butt of some sort of “prissy receptionist” joke or even just as some—as-as a kind of fucking challenge to men—men like you, Javier—because I… well, because I’m mean, and I-I guess it’s just fun for everyone to see how far they can take it before—before I…” You give your head a fervent shake, trying to reel yourself back in, trying to close off the monologue.
But the cracks had formed, and with nowhere to go, the mounting pressure of the seven seas washes away the rest of your weakened dam.
The agent can't even get a word in.
“Anyways, that’s-that's not the point. The point is that it just… it didn’t seem possible that anyone in this whole fucking country would even think twice about me—even if it was just to… to kill me…”
A lump forms, lodging behind your larynx.
You start to rush.
“So I really am sorry that I acted like such an asshole, but none of this makes a fucking lick of sense to me—I’m-I’m a secretary, for fuck’s sakes—I’m nothing, no one, I’m not—” and then you’re frantic—
The gunshots, the tires, the music, the spark plug, a Camino—
“Just please, don’t go, don’t—I-I know you’re mad, just—please, just don’t—”
It’s impossible to catch your breath. Every heaved sob racks your lungs, shaking you all the way down to your buckling knees.
You want to turn, to run and hide, to fling yourself into oncoming traffic—anything to end the interminable humiliation you couldn’t seem to keep from putting on display in front of Javier Peña.
And shit. No man could see a woman in the same way after this. No man would care for a woman like this, destroyed and pathetic and—
“Oh, cariño—”
And he’s there.
Those arms—so used to taking—they wrap you up, pulling you into the heat of his body, protecting you from the pointed echoes of laughter and song breezing through the night air. Those hands, the ones that bruised, slapped, grabbed—they hold—the right unburdens you of your oppressive weight, pressed flat against the small of your back. His left cradles the back of your head, laying your temple to the side of his throat.
“You’ve always been important to me, sweetheart.”
His soft murmurs tumble down your spine. That smoky breath envelops you; it reminds you of those blankets in the movies—the ones that the firemen hand out after the disaster’s over, the survivors rescued. In the denouement.
“S’okay, S’okay. I’m sorry, baby, alright? I’m not mad, cariño, it’s okay.”
Running his fingers through your hair, supporting your head like a delicate, sacred object, murmuring comforts against the softest parts of your neck—Javi goes on and on. Despite the frequent shifts between Spanish and English, you manage to catch the main gist of his crooning.
“I could never be mad at you, baby.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m not mad, cariño.”
“And I’m sorry, baby.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not mad.”
“I’ll stay.”
“I’m sorry.”
After an eternity, you feel calm enough to pull away. You’re a wreck, gazing up at him with big, silver-lined eyes.
And it’s then that you see him.
That you really see him.
The concern, the anguish, the affection… You’d punished him for doing the very thing that you were incapable of doing.
Protecting you.
Caring for you.
As tears continue to leak from your eyes, you take note of his beauty. Not just of his looks, but also in the sheer power radiating from him, towering like a knight over you. In those capable, caring hands—hands that had torn others apart, that had put you back together—there was beauty in them, too.
You wipe your face dry.
And you soften your tone, aiming to lighten the mood. “Stop trying to get in my pants, Peña." A sniffle. "I don’t sleep with cops.”
He rolls his eyes, the ghosts of a smile tugging at his lips. “Y’know,” he cups your face, drying the final, lingering remnants of your melt-down off your cheeks, “I waited outside that fuckin’ bar for hours  tonight. Just in case.”
Oh.
God, you’d never even bothered to think about how he’d gotten to you so quickly.
Of course he’d been there.
That truth feels… warm.
He goes on. “Watched you… saw you with that guy.” He scoffs at himself, shaking his head. “Had to look away when you came outside. S’why it… took a minute. To get there.”
That has your gaze trailing off, eyes cast down in shame, studying the worn-in rubber on the Jeep’s tires.
It would have never worked, anyway. There wasn’t a man on Earth who could ween your mind off of this one.
With the pad of his thumb against your chin, he brings you back to him. Javi commands your full attention with the just the sincerity of his stare.
“Even when you want nothin’ to do with me... I’m there, alright? I’m here, baby.”
Those eyes… softened with affection, hardened with conviction. Javier always had a way of straddling both worlds at once.
He waits for your signal, your quick nod of acknowledgement.
Then, he’s kissing you—softly. Fingers curling around his forearms, you borrow his strength to keep yourself from swooning. He holds your face as tenderly as he caresses your lips, and with every synced inhalation, he speaks yet another unspoken word into existence.
After giving you enough to make you feel whole again, he pulls away.
With his great-big-palm to your cheek, he says everything you need to hear.
“Let’s go inside, sweetheart.”
part 3
TAGLIST: @millllenniawrites @pining-and-tired @inkedells @stardust-chords-enthusiast @mattmurdocksgirlfriend @bookofbee @liviloo12346 @anyas-stuff @readingsunshine97 @maudlinflowers @sullysflm @sexygaypalpatine @livyjh @s-unflowxr @lostsoldieronahill @chapterhappygirl @raeluvshammett @silkiers @jupitersmood @supernaturaldean67 @razrsharpwhiteteeth @peqchsoup @corrodedcherries @hawsx3 @monboudoir @theonewithacrush @pono-pura-vida @totallynotastanacc @dzaga890 @swedishscumfuck @killerrxger @niallsbunny @cilliansangel @snowyarcher @grnherbs @mswarriorbabe80 @tercabed @sweettea-and-honeybutter @julesonrecord @bbyanarchist @thisgirl-knm @pedrit0-pascalit0 @princessdjarin @isitselfishifwetalkaboutmeagain @pseudonymist @goldengrapejuice @soullumii @jazzerbelle14
Officer Officer Everybody knows that I'm a good girl, officer No, I wouldn't do a thing like that, that's for sure The house was already on fire, I swear I'm not a liar (Well) I'm a little shaken, but I'm fine, thanks for asking Tell me, do you always work alone so late? Gosh, I'm a little shy standing here in my night gown Do you really have to put those tight handcuffs on?
Looking at me, then suddenly
I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane
I've been bad, I've been wrong Playing a dangerous game I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane, hurricane, hurricane
Let's get in the back of your cop car, officer You can ask me anything you want Anything, anything
Do you have a girl? I don't see a ring on your finger Well, that's interesting Have you ever thought of dating a singer?
The flames are getting higher So is my desire It's kind of exciting Don't you think?
Then suddenly he's uncuffing me
I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane
I've been bad, I've been wrong Playing a dangerous game I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane, hurricane, hurricane
Love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane I'm in love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane I can be the bad girl I'm getting you so hot You can be the good guy Tell him please stop
Love, I'm in love Love in a hurricane
You can be the good guy (Officer) I'm in love Tell him please Stop (Officer) (Officer) You can be the good good (Officer) I'm in love Love in a hurricane
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sn0wbat · 1 year ago
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some things for context:
- this bat is a real vampire
- morten will become a real vampire too... some months later
- bat was indeed receiving psychic damage from statements like this in the meantime :-)
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happy halloween :)
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